Entries Tagged 'John McCain' ↓

Paris Hilton Rips John McCain “The Old Geezer” and calls Obama a “Bubble Head”. She offers to run for the Presidency, with possible running mate Rihanna. (She has our Vote!)

Paris Takes A Stand On The Issues!

Paris Hilton For President!

Chuck Berry Tells McCain “Drop Dead”

The McCain team is searching for a suitable campaign song. After month of searching, they finally picked “Johnny B Goode” – Chuck Berry’s rock ‘n’ roll classic from 1958.

Berry’s high-power guitar licks and “Go Johnny Go” chorus might put a little spring in the old Geezer’s [McCain] step. When asked why he chose the song, McCain sais: “Because it is the only one [the artist] hasn’t complained about us using.”

Berry 81, was Pissed, he reportedly told McCain to “Drop Dead“. Berry may not be happy about his song being appropriated by Mr McCain, but he has made it clear he would prefer “Osama” Obama in the White House.

“America has finally come to this point where you can pick a man of colour and that not be a drawback,” Berry said. “It’s no question, myself being a man of colour. I mean, you have to feel good about it.”

It could be that Berry who has been known to enjoy a some good Drugs in his day can identify with Obama who admittedly Uses Crack Cocaine. The only thing McCain is on is Viagra!

MINNESOTA - Former Governor Jesse “The Body” Ventura has announced he is running for Senate against the Boring Old, Norm Coleman, and a Complete Moron, Comedian Al Franken.

Vote For Me Suckers (Or I’ll Kick Your Ass!)

Celeb Gossip Kings would like to see a Jesse For President Campaign. He would be a definite improvement over the 2 Bozo’s we have running now! John (”MacDaddy“) McCain, or Barack ( “Osama“) Obama.

Presidential hopeful John McCain was warned today that Barack “Osama” Obama is taking a huge lead in the Polls. These Polls (taken by his own Republican Party) show that he basically cannot win this election.

Although we aren’t certain if McCain had a heart attack after hearing this news, even though he’s Old and Senile, he looks like he crapped his pants!

His old buddy George Bush offered to come by and do a Few Lines with him to “Cheer Him Up” but it was no use. McCain is visibly shaken…

Sorry John. Better luck in the next election. That is, if you’re still Alive!

Not to be outdone by “Osama” Obama, there has been a leak, possibly from within the McCain camp, that there may be ties between John McCain and Muslim Extremists. This comes hot on the heels of the McCain Sex Scandal…

McCain is a member of the Episcopalian Church (also known as the Church Without Guilt) that elected a Bishop who is openly Muslim. McCain also spent five years in a POW camp in Vietnam, a country where Islam is a prominent religion. Hmm, sounds like we might have something here…

Could He Possibly Be A Terrorist?

McCain who had an Affair with a lobbyist, was at the bottom of his class in the Naval Academy, and plans to escalate the war with Iraq, sounds the perfect Republican Candidate!

In what’s being called Viagra-Gate, Republican Presidential Nominee John McCain is back in the news with this latest Sex Scandal - and Celeb Gossip Kings get the Inside Scoop!

Back In February the New York Times Reported: “A female lobbyist had been turning up with him at fund-raisers, visiting his offices and accompanying him on a client’s corporate jet. Convinced the relationship had become romantic, some of his top advisers intervened to protect the candidate from himself — instructing staff members to block the woman’s access, privately warning her away and repeatedly confronting him, several people involved in the campaign said on the condition of anonymity.”

So who is this Mysterious Sex Partner McCain is running around with? She’s Vicki Iseman. We don’t know a lot about her but we hear that she’s into Oral and Bondage!

The-Deli would like to Congratulate McCain. Hey at least the old guy can still Get It Up! Watch for the latest developments in this (Less Than) Shocking Sex Scandal!

The-Deli 1st To Report Obama Victory Yesterday!

Obama secures “magic number” of delegates he needs to secure the Democratic Presidential Nomination . In a speech at the in St Paul-Minneapolis on the same stage the Republicans will use for their convention showpiece later in the year, Senator “Osama” Obama has declared: “Tonight I can stand before you and say that I will be the Democratic nominee for President of the United States.”

“Tonight we mark the end of one historic journey with the beginning of another - a journey that will bring a new and better day to America,” he has said. “America, this is our moment. This is our time.”

Tonight we mark the end of one historic journey with the beginning of another – a journey that will bring a new and better day to America. Tonight I can stand before you and say that I will be the Democratic nominee for President of the United States.”

Obama praised Hillary Clinton saying: “She’s a leader who inspires millions of Americans with her strength, her courage and her commitment to the causes that brought us her.”

“Our party and our country are better off because of her, and I am a better candidate for having had the honor to compete with Hillary Clinton.”

Clinton is not ready to concede defeat. Addressing her supporters in New York, she said: “This has been a long campaign and I will be making no decisions tonight.” As far as the prospect of being Obama Running Mate, she has reportedly said she was “open to it” if it would help the party’s prospects in November. Have she got a Turban?

In response Senator John McCain Ripps Obama in his speach, “Why does Sen. Obama believe it’s so important to repeat that idea over and over again? Because he knows it’s very difficult to get Americans to believe something they know is false” Yeah Right!

“Osama” says: “We’re going to celebrate tonight” Although there was no mention of Drugs or Gay Sex Scandal in his speach, Rumor has it “Osama” aids went down to Lake St to score an 8-Ball!