In a suprise move Barack “Osama” Obama in his acceptance speech announced that Oprah will be his Vice Presidential Running Mate in the Presidential Campaign. Oprah, who was moved to tears, promised to share the love she has for her Fans with all Americans.

Obama And Oprah “The Dream Team”

Oprah, who has also promised to Dump Dr Phil has reportedly offered the job to Obama. Obama may consider the offer, and use the Oprah show as a platform for his Change Policy, (whatever that is).

Looks like Oprah is off the weight loss drugs, as she appeared a little chubby at the Democratic Convention. Maybe she should go back to Jenny Craig!

Dr Phil (McGraw) turned out to be a Real Lying Scumbag, and his wife Robin says she has had enough of his Lies and Cheating!

A Moving Van pulled up to the McGraw house. In a Messy Break up Robin is moving out of the house with all her stuff.  “He’s A Loser”

Robin McGraw says she will take the Dr Phil (who turns out not to be a Dr at all) to the cleaners. She stands to get about $20 Million in the divorce settlement.

In a recent study conducted by Johns Hopkins University has determined that Psilocybin, “Magic Mushrooms” are the new Viagra. Male users turned into Porno Studs and reported having Erections that lasted for hours. Female users turned into Raving Nymphomaniacs and reported having Multiple Orgasms lasting for several hours.

In the clinical test on 500 Men and Women, after 5 minutes they immediately started having sex that went on for hours. One user said “It’s one of the most spiritually significant experiences I’ve ever had.” The drug which has been used in religious ceremonies for centuries is now being seen as the Magic Cure for sexual dysfunction.

This is one of the few such studies of a hallucinogen in the past 40 years, since research was largely shut down after widespread recreational abuse of such drug. Once this news hits, everyone is going to be hitting the cow pastures looking for the Miracle Drug.

Rumor has it that Oprah (who hasn’t had an orgasm in years) has secretly purchased the entire annual crop production of the worlds only known Magic Mushroom Farm in South America, and is planning to run a 2 hour Special with Dr Phil about the “Love Mushroom“.

Drug companies are scrambling to see how they can Cash-In on this amazing discovery. We hear they may be selling it over the counter at Wall Mart as the “Orgy In A Box“.

Bogus Advise Dr Divorce Secrets

Celeb Gossip Kings have it from reliable sources that the Rumors all over the internet that Dr. Phil and his wife of 31 years, Robin McGraw, are headed for the Divorce Court may be in fact true! Looks the self help Guru Bozo may need some of his own advise!

What Secrets Is Dr Phil hiding? The National Enquirer has reported that Phil is willing to give McGraw his $200 Million Dollar fortune just to protect his Dirty Secrets. Rumors of Drugs, and Elicit Affairs have surfaced.

The Globe has reported: “TV shrink Dr. Phil makes a living dishing out advice to others – but now, he may be in need of some himself to save his own marriage – as insiders reveal he’s flying into jealous rages over his wife Robin.”

Representatives from Oprah could not be reached for comment.

Looks like we will have to keep an eye on this story!