Looks like like 54 year old TV talk show queen Oprah has gained a little extra Weight. After being passed by Barack Obama over for the Vice Presidential spot, Oprah has sunk into a deep depression, and is comforting herself with mass quantities of Ho Ho’s, Hagen Daz and Key Lime Pie.

Oprah At 300 lbs

Oprah has been stuffing her face with Key Lime pie on the set of her show, and her producers have had to order bigger furniture for the set in fear the it would collapse under the massive weight of the star.

Winfrey is trapped in a 300-pound nightmare, and as the talk show queen balloons to her heaviest weight ever, her friends and fans fear for the TV legend’s health.

It appears Oprah’s diet gurus Bob Greene may need to “Get With The Program” himself.

Then again we think that her 46-42-53 figure is Hot. She definitely has a Big Butt!

In an effort to spark some life into the fledging “Osama” Obama Campaign, our girl Oprah has decided to drop a couple of Bombs of her own!

Oprah Topless - Wooh -Them Some Big Hooters!

In an effort clearly aimed at Sarah Palin, John McCain’s Vice Presidential Running Mate, who has been getting all the media attention lately, Oprah has come out in a big way to support her Bammy!

When asked her opinion about the Palin Hacked Yahoo Account, Oprah is rumored to have said “Hack This Bitch”!

Now.. Now.. Girls!

Who would have imagined this Alaskan Hockey Mom – Sarah Palin, would be running for Vice President of the United States. This is a real life Cinderella Story, and our girl Sara is now all dressed up and ready to go to the Inaugural Ball.

Yes Sports Fans - Sarah Palin Has Boobs!

Sara Palin Shows Off Her Ball Gown!

We think she has what it takes to Go All The Way! Presidential candidate John McCain made one of the best moves he could ever make when he picked Palin as his running mate. This has put some real excitement in the McCain Campaign! Now only time will tell, but we may be looking at the next Vice President of the United States!

The “Osama” Obama camp is running scared, and we can see why. Bammy will have to pull out some heavy shit to compete with this! Maybe an Oprah Centerfold in Playboy (Get Hef on the phone!)

The National Enquirer has put a $100,000 bounty out on Sarah Palin’s Nipples. We think this is “Outrageous” these babies should be worth a lot more than that… of course, Celeb Gossip Kings have the Exclusive!

Sarah Palin Nipples!

John McCain Vice Presidential Running Mate Sarah Palin shows she has all the “Right Stuff”! (Any Boob can see that). We also believe in Tit for Tat, fair is fair, so we will be showing Nipple shots of Osama Obama’s running mate Oprah!

And as always, The-Deli will keep you a Breast of the latest political developments as they happen.

National Enquirer you can send our check to:
Attention: Armondo (Mondo) Woods
The-Deli PO BOX 69 Beverly Hills, CA 90210

Oprah has refused to have Sarah Palin on her show – saying she had no interest in sharing her TV couch with the popular Alaska Governor.

Bitch Aint Comin On My Show!

The daytime-TV talk queen said it was highly unlikely she’d have the self-proclaimed “hockey mom” appear alongside her.

There have been rumors that Winfrey, who appeared at the Democratic convention in Denver last month, may be considered as Osama Obama’s Vice Presidential Running Mate.

She threw her support behind Obama last year – the first time she had ever made such a public endorsement of a political candidate. She and Obama have appeared together, drawing huge crowds in December in New Hampshire, Iowa and South Carolina.

We think Oprah is just jealous, as Sara Palin is John McCain’s Vice Presidential Running Mate!

So what’s up with the highest paid celebrity in Hollywood? It seems that Oprah’s Mom, Vernita Lee has ditched out on her bill at the high end fashion store Valentina.

I’m Could Wring Your Neck Mom!

Could it be because her “Cold Hearted” daughter Oprah Cut Her Off, and Kicked Her To The Curb…

Looks like Mom racked up a bill of $155,547.31. Come on, that’s chump change for her Billionaire daughter Oprah. So why is it Oprah Hangs Her Mom Out To Dry?

Valentina lawyer Joseph Niebler said they tried to resolve the bill amicably but poor Mom will have to hire a lawyer to fight the claim.

As “Osama” Obama’s potential Vice Presidential Running Mate, can Oprah afford the Scandal?  Well we don’t know and nobody’s talking.

Local media reached Mom by phone but she declined to comment.

In a suprise move Barack “Osama” Obama in his acceptance speech announced that Oprah will be his Vice Presidential Running Mate in the Presidential Campaign. Oprah, who was moved to tears, promised to share the love she has for her Fans with all Americans.

Obama And Oprah “The Dream Team”

Oprah, who has also promised to Dump Dr Phil has reportedly offered the job to Obama. Obama may consider the offer, and use the Oprah show as a platform for his Change Policy, (whatever that is).

Looks like Oprah is off the weight loss drugs, as she appeared a little chubby at the Democratic Convention. Maybe she should go back to Jenny Craig!

In a recent study conducted by Johns Hopkins University has determined that Psilocybin, “Magic Mushrooms” are the new Viagra. Male users turned into Porno Studs and reported having Erections that lasted for hours. Female users turned into Raving Nymphomaniacs and reported having Multiple Orgasms lasting for several hours.

In the clinical test on 500 Men and Women, after 5 minutes they immediately started having sex that went on for hours. One user said “It’s one of the most spiritually significant experiences I’ve ever had.” The drug which has been used in religious ceremonies for centuries is now being seen as the Magic Cure for sexual dysfunction.

This is one of the few such studies of a hallucinogen in the past 40 years, since research was largely shut down after widespread recreational abuse of such drug. Once this news hits, everyone is going to be hitting the cow pastures looking for the Miracle Drug.

Rumor has it that Oprah (who hasn’t had an orgasm in years) has secretly purchased the entire annual crop production of the worlds only known Magic Mushroom Farm in South America, and is planning to run a 2 hour Special with Dr Phil about the “Love Mushroom“.

Drug companies are scrambling to see how they can Cash-In on this amazing discovery. We hear they may be selling it over the counter at Wall Mart as the “Orgy In A Box“.